Exhaustion

Here's my photo collage of my work in progress (pencil drawing), Exhaustion. I was very exhausted by... well sorry guys, I can't tell, I'm in a bad mood. No need to tell my boring dramatic unhappy bad news. Thank you for understanding me.

Before creating this drawing, I was very inspired by my garden and the wonderful song (I don't know the title) by Sevara Nazarkhan, one of my favorite unique inspiring female singers. I don't understand her language/lyrics but I'm falling in love with her stunning extraordinary voice. If you want to know more about Sevara, please visit her site. Enjoy watching her video.

You know, music always gives me ideas for creating my artworks. I can't live without music. If I don't have any iPod, music CDs, radio and others, I could listen to the sounds of nature, of course. If I can't wear my tiny hearing aid 'coz of empty batteries or damaged something, I love to hear nothing. Why? Silence is my inspiration. Yeah, I was born in silence. I never spoken nor heard from my birth to 6 years old (I started wearing my hearing aid in Grade 1, my hearing/speaking life became very, very difficult and troubled for past years...) You know what, I enjoyed drawing/scribbling with my crayons, playing with crazy insects, running and walking alone, climbing trees, eating sweets and hotdogs, etc. without noises and troubles during my quiet toddler years. It's so nostalgic. Sigh... ppooofffftttt.. I miss my childhood memories.

Anyway, I received more emails today. When I have time, I'll reply to all of you. My relatives are going back to Guam on Thursday, I'll miss them. I need to clean my messy room, try to be completely calm first and refreshed my stupid troubled mind into new one (I hope, I hope. Thanks to Earl for urging me strongly. I need to stop my depression and doing foolish things like drinking beers, etc.)

See you in July and send my big hug to all of you. Bye, I have to walk alone.

Happy Father's Day + other news

Happy Father's Day to all of dads!
I love you very much, Dad!
Thank you for everything!

This old photo was taken in Baguio City, Philippines. That's my big brother Jeremy, Dad (oh yeah, I love his groovy cool afro hair, hahaha) and me. Dad is the best, of course. Last night (1 a.m.), I put a surprised gift (family picture with frame) on the floor near my dad's room. Today, he woke up very early, saw a gift and opened it. Awww, he's deeply touched and loved it. I'm very pleased. I am always with him, say "hello" to him when he arrives home, hug him, prepare a cold green tea and little snack for him, etc. Glad that he keeps smiling at me but I really don't know what he feels something inside. Sigh, I wish my broken family could be completely happy and healed.

Anyway, wow, I received some emails and comments from my kind online friends and others. Please wait for my response patiently and I'll visit my friends' bloggers, galleries, etc. when I have time. Sorry, I wasn't active here because my relatives are still here. At least I'm so happy and glad to see them and spend time with them. Well, I don't draw and paint and use my own computer for two weeks now. I'm using my sister's computer now. When my relatives will be going back to Guam, I'll be ready to do my artworks and surf the net again.

Oh! I forgot to post my artwork last week. Here is my submission for the MailmeART by Darren Di Lieto. This project is so fun and interesting. I used my ink medium (pen and ink brush) on brown envelop because I really missed my ink drawing skill. I enjoyed doing this.

Back of my brown envelop.

Go, read and join MailmeART if you're interested, guys. See their amazing submissions when you have time. Thanks again to my wonderful lovely magical friend Annax for the wonderful art trade last time, it really made me big smile and happy. I also thank my great friend Kit, who made a wonderful oekaki portait of me. It's so lovely, isn't it?


I also would like to share something with you. My lovely sweet adorable talented friend Raquel got a wonderful documentary film about Wendy, watch her video (Quicktime), seriously, it really made me smile again. Enjoy watching.

Oh my gosh, I got 100,000 pageviews in my deviantART. Congratulations to Xinlin from Singapore, who got my 100k pageviews, look at her screenshot. I'll surely give my free two prints to her soon! However, sadly, I won't upload my artworks in my deviantART account anymore, at least I got good reasons and I moved out. It's better to keep uploading my works here in my blog, website and Flickr, they make me feel comfortable. Anyway, congratulations, Xinlin!

See you soon, argh, my tummy is painful today. I'm exhausted, tired and weak, I need to take more rest at my mama's apartment.

Next post: Mall's Art Diary: Exhaustion, personal pencil drawing

Art Trade with Annax II

I'm so sorry for not replying to all of you. I was very, very exhausted by running errands, spending time with my family and relatives, going to the market, travelling, more. Well, I didn't draw and paint this week because I'm not okay and exhausted. Mostly I removed those crazy weeds in my garden, walked alone, thought alot, drank strong beers ( sorry forgive me, but I'm greatly depressed about my personal life, not art. My life sucks...), kept quiet myself, played with my real kittens and my Shardul, cried alot everynight, etc. Like I said before, no worries about me, I don't like you guys to see me sad again. Hmmm, regarding my art exhibit, I'm sorry, my friend Dehann told me that it's postponed. Maybe it will launched on July, thank you for understanding me.

About my art trade, I am very relieved that my friend Annax received my parcels, read her blog. I'm super pleased that she and her family enjoyed my things. Here's my work in progress, Parade. It's a A4 size and I used acrylics and coloured pencils. I was very inspired by my favorite song, Goodbye Milky Way by Enigma before creating my art trade. The Enigma video is unofficial so please listen to the song for a few minutes.

I would like to share my little description with you guys. These two characters (kids) are Annax's lovely twin babies (boy and girl). These curious kids hold those friendly creatured alive balloons gently and float away into the night sky. They enjoy exploring the whole universe, wonderful planets, stars, discovering new things, more. They look for the hope, happiness, love, peace and prosperity. If you feel down, close your eyes, listen to this song and imagine those innocent beautiful things... without hate.

Plus, of course I also made an extra small artwork (lead pencil + ink + scrap paper on brown paper), Oh my darling, oh... for the cover of CD case for Annax. I burnt a CD with my selected songs which I was very inspired by. I was surprised that Annax's own playlists are many songs I recorded.

Annax, thank you for everything, it was super enjoyable and pleasure. Glad you simply loved it all, dear. You're a such sweetheart, Annax.

Forgive me that I'm not good in writing here. I might not be online for a few days, I'll reply to all of you when I have time. Take care of yourselves and love you all. I wish I could be completely calm...

Art Trade with Annax + other gifts

I forgot to tell you guys something about gifts. When my UK friend Annax saw my commissioned work, she left her comment on my blog, "I wish I had lots of money to commission you!! I love your work!" I thought for a moment and asked Annax, "Can we trade artworks?" She was very thrilled and told me, "Mall! Oooo yes, would love to trade some art with you!". I asked her for the art trade because I really liked her whimsical art. I must admit that I rarely do art trades. Annax and I talked to each other thru emails about art trade and Goodness Packages.

Annax sent me her two separated packages last month. Weee, first, I was very thrilled to receive and open a delicious yummy magical parcel. It tasted like fresh berries... And I was in awe with Annax's wrapping skills and extraordinary classic writings! Adorable CD package with beautiful songs of CDs, yummy sweets, plushies, teas, etc. That's why it's called Goodness Packages.

After few days, I got another package and screamed, "BWAHAHAHAHAHA! FINALLY! I GOT A PAINTING FROM ANNAX!!! YEHAW!" I closed my tired eyes and inhaled and exhaled deeply then I opened it carefully..... Oh, my eyes grew wider and it made me speechless. I was falling in love with her beautiful watercolour painting. I really loved her incredible details, colors, dots, stripes, checkers, mushrooms, everything. I really looovveeddd iiit! It reminds me of Alice's Wonderland. But it looks way too classic, unique, whimsical, dreamy and bizarre. The painting is even more beautiful in person! She used her watercolour and ink. This is entitled "Your Paradise", A4 size (but her painting is larger than mine, it made me surprised!).

Annax is my extraordinary special creature and friend. I'm so lucky to have met her in Flickr. Please visit her website, blog and Flickr. Anyway, I sent my original painting and other goodies to her last month. I can't post it here unless Annax will receive them first. Hope she will get them soon. Thank you very much for everything, Annax!

I also thank my good friends Leficia and Jennifer for sending me some books. Leficia bought two books, Howl's Moving Castle and Castle in the Air by Diana Wynne Jones. Jen sent me her wonderful books, Pirate School: The Curse of Snake Island and Ahoy, Ghost Ship Ahead!. Her illustrations are so lovely and adorable. These books are adventurous and fun! Thanks alot! I must admit that I'm not a bookworm. But I should read these books if I have time, of course.

Oh yeah, I have another art exhibition, look at the poster below. My friend Dehann wanted my old oil paintings to display them in his place for the exhibit, so I accepted. I think I will not attend an opening exhibit on Wednesday because my relatives, who are from California and Guam, will visit us. Oh man, I'm sure I will be very, very exhausted because of my running errands, buying more foods, spending time with relatives, playing with my cousins, controlling myself from bad moods, more this busy month.

I'm very tired and weak now. Wow, I slept the whole day at my mama's apartment. Mama told me, "Sweetheart, please you need to take more rest. You got violet eyebags. I want you to get healthier and stronger, please. I'm worried about you. If you keep sick, do you want me to bring you to the hospital again and again? " Sigh. Yeah, I didn't sleep very well past few days because of my worse feelings. I need to sleep now... I should go to Baguio City and Dagupan City for bringing my fellow artists' works, setting up, etc. tomorrow. Goodnight and sweetdreams.... zzzz....

Depressed Days.